Our children and teenagers have grown up with technology. They are accustomed to constant entertainment and endless streams of content. While technology is not an inherently evil system, it is a tool that can be used for good or for evil.
Modern technology can be dangerous for our children and teenagers. The problem is not technology itself, but how it is introduced. Here are some things I have learned recently that I had no awareness of a year ago:
Did you know that the most common places where children are targeted by sexual predators are on popular online gaming platforms such as Roblox?[1]
Did you know that one method for children to share inappropriate content with other children is through Google Docs?[2]
Did you know that artificial intelligence is now being used to create custom pornography, target young people, and generate deepfake images designed to deceive and enslave children and teenagers?[3]
When Christian parents are confronted with these alarming facts, they often respond in different ways. Some parents try to eradicate all technology from their child’s life. There are children and teens who have grown up sheltered from technology and there are those who have not. When children have no access to technology, it only temporarily protects them from the dangers of improper use, especially as they grow older. Curiosity creeps in and life presents opportunities. Because of the pervasive nature of modern technology, instead of being free from it, they often find secret ways to access it. When they do this, they find unfiltered access to a tool that they have not been prepared to use. They can spiral out of control quickly without their parents even being aware.
Other parents give their children unfettered technological access in order to foster trust. Modern technology is widespread and can be useful in daily life, particularly in education. There are loving parents and mentors who attempt to create trust by giving up the responsibility to monitor and guide their children’s technology use. They want their child to feel loved and accepted rather than judged and restrained. While the motive seems good, this gives a young person who does not yet have the experience, wisdom, or critical thinking skills required to handle it access to one of the most powerful and commonly misused tools in existence. This method often fosters deception rather than trust.
Another common strategy is to give children unlimited access to technology with filters and safeguards. Filters can be helpful, but they cannot protect our children from everything. Many children and teenagers can discover ways around these filters. Safeguards can help, but they cannot do the job of a parent nor should they be expected to.
If we cannot fully protect our young people from technology, if we cannot simply trust them with it, and if filters alone are not enough, where do we go from here? Is it even possible to protect our children and teenagers in the age we live in? What can we do to protect our young people from digital bondage and lead them into true freedom in Christ? Does the Bible speak to these issues? The answer, of course, is yes. Here are several principles derived from Scripture that should guide us as we seek to lead and protect our young people.
God should be the center of our day, not technology.
Because technology has become so central to daily life, we often neglect the things that should be at the center of our lives. In Deuteronomy 6:7, Scripture instructs us to speak of God’s Word when we sit in our homes, when we walk along the road, when we lie down, and when we rise.
“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:7
Instead, many of us watch television when we sit down, listen to podcasts while we walk, scroll on our devices when we go to bed, and check emails when we wake up. It’s not that doing these things is inherently wrong or sinful, but they cannot be the center of our lives. Much of our struggle with technology is rooted in failing to keep God’s Word in its rightful place at the center of our hearts and lives. If we want to experience true freedom from technology, then we must put it in its proper place.
In the book 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, Tony Reinke says,
“True freedom from the bondage of technology comes not mainly from throwing away the smartphone, but from filling the void with the glories of Jesus that you are trying to fill with the pleasures of the device.”
We should guard our own hearts and the hearts of our children.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
Proverbs 4:23 tells us to “guard our hearts.” If we, as adults, should guard our hearts, is it not important for us to teach our children how to guard their own hearts? Technology has the ability to pour an overwhelming amount of content into our minds. Allowing children unrestricted access or permitting them to choose what they want to consume is extremely dangerous. In an effort to give them freedom, we have actually given them over to bondage.
If we allow platforms such as Instagram and YouTube to shape our teenagers’ understanding of the world, we are surrendering a significant amount of influence in their lives. They will learn from somewhere, and we must be intentional about who or what is shaping them.
This does not mean that teenagers should never be given access to social media platforms or that you should not watch a funny YouTube video as a family. It does mean that you should limit and guard the content that is entering your home. Is it true? Is it just? Is it pure? (Philippians 4:8)
We need to show our children how to use technology.
Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to train children in the way they should go. This principle is both theological and practical.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Would you give a sixteen-year-old the keys to a car and allow him to go to the grocery store without first teaching him how to drive? Absolutely not! Would we send our child off to college if they had not finished high school? We wouldn’t dream of it! Yet, with technology, we often give ourselves a pass on the need to train proper use and responsibility. Teenagers need to be given these freedoms gradually as they show readiness and responsibility.
What are creative ways that we can train young people? A few examples could include technology fasts to reset our minds, screen time and app limits, intentional conversations, and storing devices away at bedtime and in the mornings. We need to orient our days towards Christ and not tech.
We must model healthy behavior.
If I’m honest, for me, this is definitely the most difficult aspect. How can I lead my family and my children to do something that I am not doing? How can I counsel young people if I am not willing to apply these truths to my own life?
“Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1
Paul lived in such a way that he challenged the Corinthians believers to follow him as he followed Christ. The sad truth is that many of our children and teenagers are simply following the examples they have been given. Before we evaluate the digital habits of your children, we should evaluate our own digital habits. Do I scroll myself to sleep every night? Does any quiet, “contentless” minute make me uncomfortable? Am I comfortable in my own skin, or do I hide behind a screen? Am I living out my freedom in Christ, or am I in bondage to technology?
The calling to guard the digital habits of our children and teenagers is a calling to guard our own digital habits.
Technology is rapidly changing and developing, and for the Christian counselor or parent that can feel overwhelming. However, holy freedom has always been threatened in one way or another since the Garden of Eden. Satan has always found creative ways to attack believers and to tempt them to sell themselves into slavery. We must put our iphones, ipads, TVs, laptops, and earbuds into their rightful place in our lives. The only way to live in freedom in a digital age is to keep Christ at the center of our lives, habits, and homes.
[2] https://www.ksby.com/news/2019/05/19/experts-say-students-using-google-docs-for-cyberbullying
[2] https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/deepfake-abuse-is-abuse?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Colby Whitaker
Colby was raised in a Chrisitian home in West End, North Carolina, where he came to know and love the Lord at an early age. Growing up, he always had a passion for helping others grow spiritually. He earned a bachelor’s degree in Pastoral Ministry with a minor in Business Management from Pensacola Christian College. Colby is especially burdened to walk alongside teenagers, young adults, and those in ministry as they navigate challenges in Chrisitian life. Colby and his wife currently reside in Columbia, SC where he works with Selah International and is currently pursuing certification with the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). They welcomed their first child, a baby boy, this past August.
