In the first part of this series, we discussed how success as a parent (or in any other mentor role) is not about the product that your children turn out to be but about your obedience to Christ. We summarized our goal for purposeful parenting this way:
A Consuming Love for God in a thoroughly Scriptural environment that actively disciples behaviors and attitudes with an eternal perspective in a temporary environment.
One of the most practical outworkings of purposeful parenting is having devoted time to speak to and instruct your children in the ways of the Lord. Some call these family devotions; others may adopt a more casual approach. No matter the mode, regularly and intentionally setting aside time to teach your children is vital in your discipleship of them.
“We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:” Psalm 78:4-7
- Modeling and imitation are involved.
- Know – Help your children to see into the real beauty of Who God is. Our job is not to impress our children with our knowledge of God but with our passion for God. While you cannot teach this or make them see the truth of Who God is, you can pattern it so that they are excited and embrace the reality and importance of faith and worship.
- Trust – As human beings, we are built to put our hope, worship, and awe in something. Our desire as parents is for them to see the trust we have in God and thus place their own confidence in Him themselves.
- Obey – It is only when they see the beauty of God and place their confidence in God that they will truly obey God. Children may obey and do Spiritual actions as just a task or assignment while they are under your roof, but the goal of our parenting is their obedience out of interaction with and conformity to God Himself.
- Common Mistakes That Defeat the Practice
- Unrealistic Expectations – Don’t fall prey to the thinking that you are just going to fail so you should stop trying or planning. Do your best but do not expect to be perfect. Keep it simple and start with smaller goals (eg. once or twice a week).
- Never Settling on a Regular Time – While this may change from season to season in your family, set a regular time (eg. after dinner, in the car on the way to school, etc).
- Embarrassment over Failures – Don’t treat family devotions like a chore. It should be an enjoyable and fun time.
- A Spouse does not Participate – In no other aspect of child-rearing does a spouse not participating cause an activity to stop, so neither should it in the area of spiritual things. You would bathe, feed, and buckle your children in seatbelts even if your spouse did not participate, so train your children in the Lord even if your spouse will not.
- Failing to Adapt to the Audience – While you are waxing eloquent, do your children understand you? Have they given up understanding you? Adapt how you read and memorize Scripture.
As you read, memorize, and sing Scripture. Use resources to help aid you and employ object lessons in your devotions. As you pray, remember to have different focuses. You may challenge your children to pray without using certain phrases or words. This will help you to identify how your children are connecting and interacting with the Lord. Remember that you don’t have to have a lesson every time. You may have a singspiration, trivia night, or talk about what each family member read that day. Don’t try to do too much, 5-15 minutes is a good goal. Finally, have fun and be willing to pull the plug on ideas or things that are not working.
May the Lord strengthen and guide you as you seek to be a purposeful parent!
David Goforth
Senior Pastor of Grace Baptist Church, West Columbia, SC
David was reared in a Christian home in Michigan and was a member of Rochester Hills Baptist Church. His wife, Daye, was a “preacher’s kid” in Tennessee at Franklin Road Baptist. They met at Pensacola Christian College and were married in the summer of 1993. The Goforth’s traveled as college representatives and ensemble leaders for two years after graduation. In August 1995 they moved to West Columbia and began a more than fourteen-year ministry at Grace Baptist Church. The Lord grew their family (with five daughters!) and their ministry as David served as youth pastor, assistant to the pastor, and interim pastor and Daye taught at Grace Christian School. In 2010, they then served as senior pastor at Providence Baptist Church in Riverview, FL, where God grew their family again (a son-in-law). In August 2020, the Lord brought the Goforth’s back to West Columbia where they are now serving as the senior pastor here at Grace and loving the grandparent life!